My Hurting Heart…

How can it be?

Can you know peace in the conflict?

Can you have passion when you’ve been beaten & hurt & feel numb or dead?

Can you have purpose in your life where you thrive above the pain and fear?

I shared on my Live @Lunch video that introduced this blog about a lady who was begging God to save her marriage. Her Christian husband believed that God was ok with his infidelity and could continue the affair and he’d let her know if he wanted to stay married or not after the affair had run its course…..

I don’t know about you but that kind of betrayal and cruelty makes my blood boil. We both knew that regardless of what she wanted he was going to do what he wanted to do and she felt like he was in total control of her future, her happiness, her heart.

As I processed through this beautiful woman’s situation I wanted an answer as to how she can get what her heart desires. I wanted to cry out to God and see God open up heaven! I wanted her tears to be gone and Him to sooooothe her breaking heart. I’ll be honest, I knew she longed for her husband to love her and return to their marriage with full repentance to God and her.

I felt conviction as I prayed.

I realized I was telling God what to do.

Wake Up, Marla!!!
Really??? Was I telling God what do to??? I was feeling my sisters pain and zoomed in on what I thought needed to happen when I realized I needed to get a perspective change & release God to work in me and in the situation that brought me to Him.

God’s heart was breaking and He knew every detail of her situation. I know how God feels about marriage, forgiveness, and restoration. He’s a God of another chance and will never give up on anyone… Not even a selfish, undeserving, unfaithful, lying, cheating husband. At the same time, He was working and each person involved were well acquainted with Him. They knew Him as their personal savior and called themselves Christians yet their lives were absent of His likeness. Her husband was consumed with himself and what pleased him while she was totally absorbed in getting her marriage & husband back. We all get tied up in our pain when our heart is broken. However, here’s the transforming revelation…

When we turn our eyes to God and control

our thoughts, hearts desires and actions to mirror His

THAT is when we find our happiness and peace, our purpose & passion!

It happens when our heart is longing for God.

What do you do with the things that are out of your control?

How about the one who continues to have an affair on their spouse? If they would just stop & be faithful to they be happy, their marriage restored & life is good?

How about the parent of a child addicted to drugs and street life? Would that parent’s life be what their heart desires if their child would clean up?
How about the one struggling with finances. If there was more money in the account would life be worth living?
How about that single person could just find the perfect mate? Would that make the days fulfilling?

If the answers to those are yes, then we have our solution. Sadly, believing this will keep us in a painful defeated life-cycle…

We will be happy & life will be good WHEN OUR SPOUSE is faithful to our marriage.
Our hearts desires will be met WHEN OUR CHILDREN are not addicted to drugs & street life
WHEN THERE IS MONEY in our account life is worth living
FINDING THE PERFECT MATE will make our days fulfilling

Real life brings pain and suffering to the Christian and the non-Christian alike.

The lie that sucks the Christian in way too easily is that other people
get-to-decide the quality of our heart, our life, and our future.

It’s easy to sit on the sidelines of other peoples trouble and make judgments, but I hope that you will take a look at yourself and what you believe so that you can take control of what you can change and bring your life into agreement with God, God’s heart and the life He desires for you to live.

YOU are the only one who can change you, your situation your story, & your future!

What you don’t decide is the consequences of your choices and the choices of others.
Those two things are out-of-our-control!

As difficult as that can be sometimes you get to decide how YOUR life works.
It is in the seasons of brokenness where you feed what you want to grow.
It’s in the darkness and pain that you cultivate the life you want so that the struggle will do a good work in you to bring God glory and work together for your good.

If you’re tired of being afraid, dreading what’s going to happen, being sad & disappointed. If you’re tired of feeling hopeless and joyless. If your heart doesn’t dance & delight in the things of God and His presence…… then it’s time for you to change the one you control and see God work in your life.

When your heart is hurting your mind starting searching for answers… now is the time to turn your attention and affection to God.

To the spouse who hears the words that shatter her dreams and breaks her heart.
To the single one who feels alone & believes there’ll never marry
To the child who sees her parents divorce
To the parent whose child is lost
To the young child who is bullied and pushed aside
To the infant who’s been left alone
To the one who has no one to put down as their emergency contact
To the child who has been abused, neglected & rejected
To one who feels like life is over and has no one to call
To the teenager who sits alone in the lunch room
To the one who loses the only person who made them feel special
To the betrayed friend
To the one who has kept secrets & lies until they can no longer recognize the truth
To the one who’s been wrongly accused, lied about and had their reputation ruined
To the one who has never known friendship
To the one who longs for children but not able to conceive
To the one who has many people around but feels so alone and isolated
To the one who wonders in life and sees no way of escape
To the one who has done such terrible things that they cannot forgive themselves
To the one who lives in fear of being found out
To the one who has been overlooked, devalued & forgotten

This is for you…

Your pain has a purpose & you can thrive while you are hurting
Your heart was made to know God’s peace and hope even in the seasons of pain, disappointment, and heartbreak
Your release of control of the things you cannot change to God is your ladder to live in freedom even if your pain remains.

God is inviting you to join Him