I woke disappointed when I thought about the day ahead.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday to be surrounded by the people I love and who love me. Growing up I longed for the day when my house would be filled with kids, Gbabies, a husband who adored me with love and laughter filling the air. God has been more than kind to give me my heart desires, but 2020 has been a year of challenges & choices, disappointments & opportunities.
This year my 60th birthday happens to roll out on Thanksgiving day. It was promised to be a celebration I’d treasure for years to come.
And then…
Ten days ago a family member tested positive for Covid and today there are 6 of us quarantined and anxiously awaiting to see this virus in the rearview mirror.
Eye roll….. what else is 2020 gonna try and steal?
This is NOT what my BIG 6 0 celebration is supposed to look like.
NORE is the Thanksgiving Day I want.
I totally realize it’s NOT all about me, but when it’s just me, myself & I here on my sofa while everyone else is isolated it’s hard to think otherwise.
So here I am reflecting on Thanksgiving 2020….
I started my day in prayer I realized I am not alone in my disappointment. There are so many people hurting, disappointed, feeling alone, sick, and looking for a little bit of happiness, some peace & hope. As my mind fills with the common burdens we share I put praise & worship music on to try & fill my thoughts with God’s word and to combat the disappointment that pops in my thoughts.
The more I think about it the more I realize how easy it is to be disappointed. One could resolve to have zero expectations in hopes of not being disappointed, but the mind still loops back to think on what coulda, shoulda, and woulda if only…
Right?!
Seriously, there are people we want to be with today, and for whatever reason, we don’t get to share our day with them.
There are those who are sick and some we have lost who weren’t around the Thanksgiving table today.
There are those who betrayed us, left us, overlooked us, lied to us, cheated on us or choose not to be in our lives and we mourn the loss.
Those are legit reasons to be discouraged.
Legit or not discouragement has to go if we are going to cultivate a thankful heart.
It’s a slippery and super fast slope from disappointment to bitterness. Yikes, who wants more of this quicksand sucking the life out of them? Here we are keeping it real and reaching for what we want.
How can we see disappointments turn and feed a thankful heart?
Is it really possible to have a thankful heart when the circumstances of our lives are genuinely disappointing?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
YES, it is possible. See this picture of the beautiful yellow leaves. The colors of Fall light up our world. Fall is a season that starts off when what is green turns into the most beautiful rich colors. Oh, the deep rich reds, Aspen yellow, brilliant orange & vibrant golds bring nature to its peak. But it isn’t long before the leaves are on the ground and the trees are bare. If we didn’t know better we would look at the season and see death. But because we know this season will end and a new one begins we are NOT shaken. We understand the process and can trust the future doesn’t look like the present.
The parallel applies…
Trusting God doesn’t mean that our heart doesn’t hurt and we aren’t disappointed.
There will be seasons of loss, pain & disappointments and that is unavoidable. However, for those of us who are CHRISTians we can take this opportunity to choose well & see God work to transform us in the process.
Having peace & being happy is more about where your mind & thoughts are fixed.
Let’s face it… when we are disappointed what we want AND don’t have has us captured and feeling sorry for ourselves, no matter how justified, intensifies, the struggle. There is no peace because our mind keeps looping the same thoughts that make our hearts hurt and all of the feelings we want to escape have us imprisoned.
I’m thankful that today, Thanksgiving 2020, has given me a reason to pause and choose what I want to release in my life.
- I choose to trust God because He is God and He does good.
- He has never failed me & He never will.
- I can trust Him in all things.
- When I trust God I don’t have to understand
- He is always with me
- I choose to acknowledge Him in all things & at all time
- He makes my path straight
The words of this song have been what I’ve chosen to loop in my thoughts today.
If you find yourself disappointed, betrayed, sick, lonely, broken, or hopeless let me encourage you…
God is as close as the mention of His name. If you want joy & a thankful heart choose to behold the Living God who longs for you to know Him intimately.
He is the Source of everything you long for. Instead of chasing after what won’t work or last chase after Him. Jesus will NOT disappoint.
I’m leaving you with this song…
Close your eyes and open your heart. Invite God to come close and make Himself real to you. You and I are changed in His presence.
Happy happy happy thanksgiving my friend!
